Growing up, my brothers and I were subjected to a household of a mere five TV channels, not including the French one (which doesn’t count either way simply because it isn’t the superior language of English). Sunday mornings spent flipping desperately through the few stations we had access to taught me that not only are Sundays the most entertainment-devoid day of the week, but that there are a lot of causes you can support for the low, low cost of $19.95 per month. Moving to Victoria, however, has expanded my childhood knowledge and taught me that nearly everything which has suffered injustice is worthy of a band of official supporters. Personally, I have been accosted by those for abortion, against abortion, for sex, against whales, for marijuana, against evangelical movements and for polyamoury, amongst others. It has come to my attention, on the other hand, that there is a gaping hole in the repertoire of causes for creatures.
What of the paramecium?
Somehow society and the intellect of the scientific community have been avoiding the terrible truth of the abuses that happen in high school and first year biology courses everywhere. While I am generally not one to sign petitions or protest for any cause that does not directly involve me, my life or my personal comfort, the abuse of the paramecium is simply appalling. Compared to the imprisoned paramecium, the supposed ‘suffering’ of whales is an over romanticized notion of non-existent neglect. Whales already enjoy the freedom of nearly 68 percent of the Earth’s surface area along with international protection as opposed to the unregulated airtight glass slides that the paramecium is imprisoned within. Millions of the creatures are subjected to constant observation and manipulation under deathly bright lights; all of them are left to dry out and die. These injustices have become so normalized that somehow the end of feminism is a greater cause than that of stopping our teachers and roommates from continuing on this massacre of the noble single-celled creatures.
It is time that Sunday mornings (long abandoned by the hopes of even remotely interesting programming) be dominated by unfortunate and ignored causes, such as the promotion of meat consumption and egocentrism, for the low, low cost of a working TV. Forget starvation in downtown Calgary; I would rather spend my beer money on saving the paramecium.
What of the paramecium?
Somehow society and the intellect of the scientific community have been avoiding the terrible truth of the abuses that happen in high school and first year biology courses everywhere. While I am generally not one to sign petitions or protest for any cause that does not directly involve me, my life or my personal comfort, the abuse of the paramecium is simply appalling. Compared to the imprisoned paramecium, the supposed ‘suffering’ of whales is an over romanticized notion of non-existent neglect. Whales already enjoy the freedom of nearly 68 percent of the Earth’s surface area along with international protection as opposed to the unregulated airtight glass slides that the paramecium is imprisoned within. Millions of the creatures are subjected to constant observation and manipulation under deathly bright lights; all of them are left to dry out and die. These injustices have become so normalized that somehow the end of feminism is a greater cause than that of stopping our teachers and roommates from continuing on this massacre of the noble single-celled creatures.
It is time that Sunday mornings (long abandoned by the hopes of even remotely interesting programming) be dominated by unfortunate and ignored causes, such as the promotion of meat consumption and egocentrism, for the low, low cost of a working TV. Forget starvation in downtown Calgary; I would rather spend my beer money on saving the paramecium.
